Media Advisory: Wholesome Undie Beats the Pants Off Molson Indy

Media Advisory, Toronto, Canada.

Car racing in Smogtown is ridiculed by underwear-clad cyclists.

When: Thursday, July 4, 5:30 p.m.
Where: Princes’ Gate, on Strachan
What: The Wholesome Undie

On Thursday, July 4 the first-ever Wholesome Undie will take to the streets of Toronto, demanding that the Molson Indy be shut down.

“Smogtown is choking in haze. People are already suffering in this heatwave without the added noise and air pollution of the Indy racecars. The days of the Indy are over” says Alison Unserwear.

The Wholesome Undie will begin with a briefing at the Princes’ Gate at 5:30 p.m., after which a crack team of Undie Riders will roll through the Indy track. With a saucy wave of the checkered Undie flag, the Wholesome Undie will cross the starting line. The winning riders (slowest, most colorful etc.) will be named 2002 ASSCAR Champions, and will take home the coveted Triple-D cup, and the Athletic cup.

Undie Racers will reclaim the streets with their elegant, inexpensive, human-powered 2-wheeled vehicles. Rather than roaring with combustion engines, they will serenade the city with ringing bells, songs and raps, and the whisper of fine lingerie. The Undie won’t cause any air pollution, since Undie racers emit only natural gas. Undie vehicles don’t go very fast, but they go in style.

Join us in your thong, bikinis, boxers or long johns, gaudy or plain, wholesome or holesome, and move your ass with the Critical Mass.

Out with the Indy!